(c) John, Rekesh 2004-2008. No part of this work may be copied or reproduced without the author's permissionThe Serpent MasterYears ago, traveling East in search of spiritual wisdom, I came across an aspiring guru. The word 'aspiring' is no figure of speech, for a guru has not risen in ranks until he has amassed at least a million followers, established sprawling spiritual centers in the west (particularly in America), released books, CDs and videos, and has had seekers from all races and nationalities prostrate (or is it grovel?) at his feet.
This one had only a few hundred that he was attending to (or vice versa), but the populace at the ashram was ever growing. The guru's specialty was the
Kundalini (the so-called serpent force at the base of the spine). Having had some misadventures with the quirky serpent myself, I was rather curious as to how he managed to raise the sleeping one in so many of his followers so easily. And for some odd reason he took a shine on to me, and within a few days of stay during which I tried to figure out his technique, the guru visited my 'quarters'.
Now it is an immutable rule that every guru or spiritual teacher (no exceptions!) must reflect his true nature and intentions on his personage - such as showcasing a sinister face, gruff voice, a very portly appearance, sharp canines, or whatever - so that ‘those with eyes’ may see. Knowing this intuitively, many of the species try to hide behind a flowing mush, beard or robes. This particular one had all the appearances of a calculating congressman, that pretty soon I had struck a deal : vow of secrecy, $5000 initiation fee, a few other discreet ‘arrangements’ - and the secret would be mine!
So late next evening I entered the master’s presence alone with the agreed upon material. I forked the cash over and he disappeared somewhere with it almost immediately. He returned soon enough, looking quite happy and then proceeded with the ‘arrangements’. Soon expensive foreign liquor was seeping into his system, and the master finally appeared willing to talk about the subject at hand.
“So you expect me to tell you my secret, eh???” he looks me in the eye.
“That’s what we agreed.”
“Yes! Yes! of course!” his smile grew into belly laughter, which he controlled with effort.
“First you gotta get your disciple fixed. Then blindfold him…” he started.
“Blindfold?” I asked in surprise.
“Yes! So that he wouldn’t discover my great secret. You cannot pass it on to others without my permission.”
“Ok, fair enough!”
“And then let him start the usual meditation stuff. I don’t need to tell you that, do I?”
“Guess not.”
“Then yo’re gonna place a specially prepared talisman on the chap’s head, or dangle it above. It’s the power of the talisman that will pull the serpent up the spine…” He took another swig and then looked at me again smiling broadly.
“And what’s this talisman like?” I ask.
“Aha!” he laughed, “you intelligent types can’t figure it out, eh?"
“I have no clue” I confess.
He looked at me as though I was a little thick in the head, and then gestured to come closer. I leaned forward, offered my ear and waited for the sacred mantra with great expectation. He took another swig and then grabbed my ear with his left hand.
“Mice!” he chortled against my eardrum, “Dangle one over 'is head. Dem snakes can’t get enough of the vermin!”
Straightaway he plopped backwards and fell like a log; unconscious, snoring and sleeping it off in oblivion.
I stared. It was painfully obvious that the fellow was no easy picking and knew his onions rather well. He is destined to rise among the stardom of all gurudom. I beat a hasty exit and left the ashram that night, having met my match. None of the disciples would believe me if I revealed what happened (that’s precisely why they are disciples). And besides, I had my ‘vow of secrecy’.
A week later I received a letter from a very excited disciple of his, informing me that the master was in samadhi for two whole days since I left him. And they had never seen the master in such a deep state. They were speculating that he had entered a new level of consciousness altogether. I wrote back saying I was pretty sure that was the case.
As to my ‘vow of secrecy’, now I figure that he really didn’t keep his side of the bargain, so there is no point in keeping mine either.
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