(c) John, Rekesh 2004-2008. No part of this work may be copied or reproduced without the author's permission
The Lighter Side of YogaThere is really something to be said about the lighter side of yoga. In fact, in the year 2000 I enrolled in a course on levitation. A yogi friend of mine recommended it highly; said many had passed the course with flying colors. I forgot to ask if he did. Being a mail order course, and only $1499.95, I thought it was a steal, and decided to let fly.
By the end of the first month I had managed to pull myself up a few inches off the ground in lotus posture. But unfortunately my body spun around and my head hit the floor with a 'boink'. The instruction manual had no mention of this, and infuriated, I called up their customer service to inquire. They said I must be an exception, that I must be really thick headed, or maybe I am too headstrong! It was followed by a vigorous attempt to sell me another course on 'staying level headed'. I banged the phone down after shouting that whoever successfully levitated must have had empty skulls.
That wasn't the end of it. The conversation was recorded by their call center, and their quality assurance manager called me the next day. She offered a free "mini" course on how to keep my balance so that the body won't spin around. Free! How could I resist? Well, just pay $19.95 for shipping and handling. So they sent me another booklet that had some more instructions. And she compassionately included a massaging kit as a bonus. I couldn't complain, after all it was free!
I soon set to work on those instructions but no matter what I did, the technique hiccuped. Well, actually a hiccup in reverse as I quickly found out. The technique had to do with holding your breath in your belly, and chanting "mojo jojo" twenty one times so the navel chakra can pump sufficient energy to keep the body upright. It did work, sort of. However the side-effect was that the breath escaped from the wrong end of the tube, and I discovered the much coveted technique of gastral projection! I would have proceeded to perfecting it if it wasn't for some strong objections from my wife.
I thought about suing the company, but their chief executive swami said they did not believe in owning any assets and therefore I would be wasting my money pursuing a case. So finally gave up, after losing another $250 on the attorney.
I still suffer from the afore mentioned side-effect. Well, actually I don't really suffer, but my wife does. But it has helped me prove to her my view point that the devil doesn't bring suffering - its all in her mind !
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