(c) John, Rekesh 2004-2008. No part of this work may be copied or reproduced without the author's permission
2. Dust
Aliyah is given a hint on the spiritual meaning of the solar system.
The dust drifted and swirled around, forming currents and eddies as she watched. It was huge, beyond description. Each one of its grains seemed alive, moving of its own volition, yet yielding to the greater swirls and eddies within a great movement that seemed to stretch from infinity to infinity. She felt she could sense subtle emotions, thoughts and aspirations within those currents of dust, as though they yearned to seek expression. They moved about in strange patterns, swirling, merging, separating, even chasing one another. Something within them was laboring hard to come forth and manifest. The Great Void now looked alive, seething with activity, harboring the tiniest to the largest forms in its womb.
As she watched, the patterns of dust took on denser forms as they dragged in more and more dust, till an uncountable multitude of patterns were stretched across the vastness of space. They undulated and moved against one another and then started coalescing, at first slowly, then faster and faster, until a huge whirlpool formed in their midst. The entire body of dust was now shrinking rapidly, twisting and dragged in by the force of the whirlpool, and pattern after pattern disappeared into its depths. It looked as though the Great Void had taken a deep breath, dragging all its aspirations into itself.
Time stood still, and nothing existed at anytime or anywhere. Just when she thought everything was gone for good, a bright light appeared where the whirlpool had been. The light expanded, growing faster and brighter, till it gave way to a tremendous explosion. It seemed that the Great Void was now breathing out all its aspirations and patterns into an explosive form that scattered all over space, and right through her.
Time seemed to fly now, and she looked on, fascinated, for the light threw itself far and wide into forms of swirling masses and colors strewn across space. There was a great light where the whirlpool had been, a tremendous powerhouse from which streamed forth endless light and energy that bathed the Great Void with its luminescence. The Great Light appeared almost alive. Those masses swirling around in space had coalesced into solid-looking spheres as they moved around their Creator. She thought another whirlpool might form now, but some unknown force held them to their paths. It seemed that the great central light was exerting its will on them, ordering their paths, yet allowing them to develop in their own way. Each one of them looked like different universes unto themselves, some having galaxies. They all had condensed into very different forms from the same essence of their creator. And they moved around their creator, as if paying homage, in an endless circle of worship.
‘Aliyah,’ came a soft and gentle voice, hardly audible. Someone was calling her. She strained and listened. The voice came again, this time more clearly. It was a melodious voice, gentle and full of love. She looked about her, trying to ascertain where the voice had come from. It sounded as if one of those ethereal forms of universe moving in the Great Void were actually calling to her. She moved closer to study them and the voice became more audible. The next moment, she found herself staring at a great, luminous orb clothed in blue and white against the backdrop of the great light. She knew she was looking at the Earth. She could see its beautiful blue oceans, the emerald green forests, the continents and dusty-brown deserts, and the shiny white masses of clouds that wrapped around it like garlands. The voice called her name again gently. And as she looked, there was movement on the Earth. The oceans, forests, continents and the clouds moved around slowly, forming shapes and figures both familiar and unfamiliar, and soon she was staring at a beautiful face that appeared in their midst.
“Mother?” she called out, her heart beating fast, for this was the face of her own mother, long lost to time, whom she remembered only from photographs. To see her now was a shock, and she drew in her breath sharply. The face broke into a beautiful smile and she felt she had never seen anything so beautiful in her whole life. She rushed forward as a great emotion overwhelmed her and she found herself falling headlong towards the Earth, towards the face of her mother etched into the clouds, oceans and the continents. But as soon as she started falling, the pattern began to change, as the masses started shifting again. They seemed to be moving in rhythm with her fall, and the beautiful smile was now twisted into a painful and ugly howl, and the face changed from the angelic beauty that it once was into a demonic countenance of utter and diabolical evil. Its visage filled her with horror and revulsion. She screamed as she hit the atmosphere like a flaming meteor, rushing helplessly towards the evil form stretched out below, as it dragged her to itself.
She woke up screaming. This was not the first time that her dreams, which started gently and beautifully, had turned into a nightmare. Panting and sweating profusely, she tried to calm her nerves and assure herself that everything was all right. It was dawn and the first light was coming in through the drapes of her windows. The light was a welcome sight and it so quickly allayed her fears that she started breathing normally, emotions in control. Her deeply analytical mind took over and tried to make sense of the dream. Of course it must have been that book on astronomy she was reading before going to bed. What she saw in the dream was probably a rendition of the origin of the solar system, though there were some strange elements that came into the dream that gave it a mystical twist. Her yearning for motherly love and her love of nature must have colored the latter part of the dream.
At age twenty one, she was almost an atheist. Life had been quite hard until now. Orphaned at an early age, her father having died in the war, and her mother during childbirth, she had struggled through housework and school, living with a relative who took her in. But there was a deep passion in her, something that carried her through life’s many setbacks. And setbacks there were, indeed, for she was subject to ridicule and neglect, cruelty and abuse, and she fell asleep many a night with eyes swollen and tears still drying on her cheeks. But through persistence and hard work, she had won a scholarship for college. And now life held true promise.
Throughout all those years, she had developed a deep grudge against God. This came from her own feeling of desolation, her observation of human suffering, and her study of nature, all of which portrayed a life often “red in tooth and claw.” Her analytical mind had decided that no God could create or permit such a life and therefore He could not exist. Yet she was curious about other modes of thought, of various religions and philosophies. And she studied them to find out what made them tick.
For that reason, her dream was particularly striking, as many aspects of it kept coming back to her mind. She recognized that it held a dazzling portrayal of the solar system as an analogue of something else. A great void with subtle aspirations, a powerful creator, manifested universes and their relationships all seemed to be portrayed through a simple analogy of dust and the solar system. She had in the past come across philosophies that discussed a Void as the source of everything, and from which was somehow birthed a creator who was responsible for many universes. It was as though a concept discussed endlessly in some philosophical circles had a natural rendition for anyone who cared to look and see.
Quickly her analytical mind asserted itself. “Look Aliyah,” it said. “You know that this was just a crazy dream. What you saw about the origin of the solar system was just a cloud of dust and the birth of a star. What was that part about your mother and a daemon? It was downright silly. All this is just a jumble thrown up by your subconscious, a projection of your futile yearning for meaning and purpose. You know there is no creator, let alone a God. Hasn’t life proved that to you yet? So why are you taken in by these wild ideas?”
She forcefully pushed her thoughts aside and got up from bed. Today was going to be exciting, she thought, a weekend escape to one of her most favorite places. She had better hurry, for she knew better than to keep Emma waiting.
It was a new day, and a new beginning.
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(Next Chapter)